Have you ever been put in a corner by a friend? They ask you to give them your honest opinion? You kinda know that they really don’t want your honest opinion.
But if you’re tactless like I’ve been you don’t think it through and sadly you give it to them?
One of the worse things you can do is say something that reveals a character flaw. Worse yet is, saying something that’s true. I can be philosophical about it and say; pointing out a negative trait is like a pointing out one dot on a piece of white paper. There so much more white expanse than that small dot. So why should that small mark matter? But hold up that piece of paper and ask people what do they see, they’ll always say “a dot”. It seems most people including yourself just home in on the flaws to the exclusion of everything else.
I believe in a world, where we continue to grow in this life and beyond. That our weaknesses are as necessary as our strengths because they give us a a world where we have a need of one another. None of us is perfect. Everyone has something to learn and something to share. It’s others that teach or inspire us not only on what we can become but how to become it. If you believe in learning and growing then your biggest weaknesses can with openness and a desire to learn become your biggest strengths. And those people who have been a part of your growth, will always have a special significance in your life.
But I think generally our weaknesses makes us feel small. We focus on them like the dot is the whole page. We can even label ourselves based on a few traits. Whether good or bad though all labels fail. Labels belong on boxes, on static things, not on living, changing or growing people. No label can represent all the things we are now or will ever become.
So, one night I was tactless with a dear friend in giving them that asked for ‘honest opinion’. I hurt my friend. And it hurt me to hurt them. I put my thoughts and feelings into the following poem.
‘Seeing the real you..’
“ I view the world through a camera and you’re caught within my lens,
an ever changing image…caught second to second..in single frames.
A face of you is attractive. I’ll catch that frame in joy,
I’ll remove it, enlarge it and soft focus I’ll employ.
I may choose it over the others it’s to me the essential you, to separate and develop and draw out for me to view…
(And I’ll look, And I’ll say, …I love )
Yet others are blurred.
Images my lens can’t catch.
The inexperience of the eye – can’t place the angle.
The novelty of the movement – can’t place the light.
And in frustration, I’ll lose it, And put the film aside. Losing many precious moments, through the darkness of the eye.
But I’ll move on catching others as they come also to view..
As if in the greater collection. I’d have in composite – you.
And then if I take a moment to study what I’ve seen. I have a kaleidoscope of moments, a myriad of reflections. And yet rare, a whole being.
It’s as if my lens is my understanding hence why the pictures not right,
experience focuses the range of vision,
learning the degree of light.
And it’s a friend though I’d develop..
And hold up for my own. The rare sweet moments of clear seeing..
When I don’t feel alone.
Would my heart in trust, open, and catch God, me and you as One.
To that sweet moment striving please come…and know…Love.”